Saturday, April 11 – We Got This!


It has been only 2 or 3 days since the curfew has been laid down. No one can leave their house from 7 pm to 6 am. Now it’s been changed to 3 pm to 6am.

I understand why. I do, however, have some beefs…

The curfews are set in place to assure that everyone remains inside and not outside for most of the day, as not to spread, by carriers that are unaware that they even possess the virus. This also cuts down on touching this monster with their dirty hands that are lingering on common surfaces… surface contamination.

Here’s what I don’t understand. When these curfews in place, more people are waiting at the grocery stores to get in. Ok, yes: 41 people allowed in the store at one time, which creates line ups. All are forced to wear masks and gloves (yay!). What is unnerving is that the mass of the people waiting are not practicing social distancing. “Too close” Is what I will say next time either in Arabic or English to get the point across.

I am not liked here, to say the least. I never was. I am here for my husband. Another scary thought is that they already have or know people here that are sick and want to force the same upon us because we don’t belong; this is just what I feel; maybe I am just overly sensitive. I try to rid these feelings as much as possible, bury them deep down and stay positive.

Now they have made two lines at the grocery store—one for women and one for men. There are far more men. When I was standing in line today, I didn’t even notice the women line because there weren’t any women. I was the directed ahead of the huge line of men to get my head temperature checked and went on my way.

Things really change when you have curfews. It’s not like saying, “Only go out for essentials” We will get a 10, 000SAR (about $3500 CAD) fine if we are out past curfew.

I have claimed my house again, my music is playing loud, and I will dance as I want to. This is my house, and I’ll do what I want.

I came home today, mowed our lawn with a piece of crap thin plastic mower that our “landlord” left. It was a pain in the ass, but I have learned to just think of the positive. I love mowing the lawn. My father used to tell me how well I did, and I always wanted to do better. Clean, crisp lines up and down the lawn. So soothing, so therapeutic. Something so simple, but makes me feel good. I found some basil while I was cutting, now we can use this for cooking, which is great.

In retrospect, I was almost homeless at one point in life. I have also been on top of the world, two very extreme highs and lows of the broad spectrum of things. I have been to so many places and experienced so many things: good, bad, fearful, scary, enlightening, empowering, and just plain crazy…another chapter happens, and I keep going, not knowing where tomorrow lies.

It’s a bit strange there are, I’m sure many who need to isolate and don’t get to have loved ones by their side, but I think I gather my sanity better when I am by myself. I was trying to be a good host, but now just living my life and the music is loud, and I’m dancing again. This is our house, Afterall!

These times are trying, for so many reasons. I keep telling myself, “keep your head up high and don’t let little things bother you.” I have been talking to my husband about this. One: Pick your battles, not everything is worth fighting about, and two: there are only so many *ucks to give, If one tries to press trigger buttons: honey badger don’t give a *uck.

In the reality of it all, I am scared for us, I am scared for the world, I am scared about the people that remain oblivious, and I am mostly scared that everyone continues on thinking this will blow over and everything will be back to complete “normal” once this “Blows over.” This being said, I am a realist, I will deal with things head-on as they come. I am not going to cry and lay in the fetal position and give up. I hope and pray that we can all be this way.

As the tattoo that I drew when I was 13 says, “there is hope.” I got this tattoo maybe 6 or 7 years back thinking of what I have always believed. There is hope. Don’t let go of this feeling, but also be mindful and aware; the rest will fall in place.

This is a chance to appreciate the little things in life. The way the grass smells when it’s freshly cut, and possibly a few basil plants as well, music blasting, laying out in the sun on the roof of the house, seeing all of my DJ friends finally reaching out with their music – keep it up!

It’s a chance for us all to come together emotionally and bring our best selves forward.