Monday, May 4 – Discipline and Structure (it’s what all of us need)

By Sadako Tchaikovskaya LOS ANGELES

I was so stoked for 2020, I thought this was the fucking year, I thought this really would be it. We live in a great artist spot in downtown Los Angeles, our baby Asha turned 1 year old on the first day of spring, and we were going to throw a huge party to celebrate her, but Covid-19 fucked everything.

We had to cancel the party. The whole world has had to cancel parties. Here we are in a worldwide quarantine shutdown. What a time to be alive. Fuck truthfully though it’s kind of sort of awesome. Life is a little bit beautiful right now. Where we live, it’s brighter, cleaner, quieter. There isn’t so much loud fast heavy traffic, there’s less garbage everywhere, everything is kind of way nicer, overall it’s better. I miss going out to restaurants, though, and I miss grocery delivery, and I miss dressing up and going out to shows. I miss a ton of shit, but at the same time, I love all of this worldwide hiding out. It’s great to keep working on creating a home, spending time with Asha, playing with her, taking care of her, watching her grow, and not feeling like I’m missing out on all the fun beyond. It’s good because Asha gets to have both mommy and daddy around 24-7; from her perspective, this worldwide shutdown is marvelous. It’s marvelous for us too in some ways, but in some other ways, it’s not marvelous at all.

Before Asha, I used to make a carefully crafted music mix every month and share it with the world. After Asha, six months passed by, and I still hadn’t made another mix. It’s very difficult to get anything done when you’re a new mom. Literally, all of your time gets sucked into taking care of your child. It’s wonderful, and it’s awesome being a mom, but it’s almost impossible if you want to also be or do anything else. It’s an adjustment. It takes time. Like lots and lots and lots of tiny pieces of time. For me, it was six months to finally make another Night Nurse mix, and I think it’s pretty good.

Also, now that Asha is a year old and more functional, I can be more functional too. We’ve started implementing bedtime as well, which is difficult but awesome. It’s incredible to have a little bit of my life back, to have some time to myself. Asha’s bedtime devastations are hard to bear, but she is becoming less dramatic every time and adjusting to the schedule. Discipline and structure, it’s what all of us need, even babies. Implementing and maintaining is the thing. Here we are, though, phew, we made it or we will. I wonder what will happen next. I wonder if we’ll ever get to eat out at restaurants or gather in groups and attend concerts with thousands of people again. 2020 Covid-19, shit. Holler at your girl.