Friday, May 22 – Surrender to the Deep Wisdom of the Universe (One Day at a Time)


I wake up to my alarm at 8:45 am and allow myself to come slowly back into the world after my adventures in dreamland. I have very vivid dreams that I seem to have become more aware of lately. Sometimes I do some breathing exercises while lying in bed; other times, I feel lazy and will just check my messages. 

I have chronic allergic rhinitis, kind of like hay fever on crack, so the first hour of the morning is a bit of nose-blowing and sluggishness. I feel sorry for anyone who sleeps next to me, my sneeze is cute, but my morning foghorn nose blowing is NOT. 

I’ve learned how to care for myself through this daily transition, and I make a nice cup of tea and slowly start my day. If it’s sunny, I will have my tea in the sunshine. If not, I will snuggle up on the couch with a fluffy dressing gown and Felix, a big chocolate brown Labrador. 

I don’t watch mainstream news or theories about how corrupt things are online anymore. Instead, I choose to focus on my intention to create sustainable communities and be self-sufficient. I’m also really passionate about mind expansion, questioning the status quo, healing & health, community, and how we can work together to lift one another up.

I’ve been working from home lately. Even before the lockdown, I spent a lot of time at home. I write I do some mentoring online, and over the phone. I make art, and I’ve also been taking this time for self-reflection and study. Prior to the mandatory isolation, I was getting out a bit more, running retreats and workshops here and there. I’ve been holding some of my workshops online by donation to be of service during this unsettling time. Other than that, my life hasn’t changed a whole lot. I am an extroverted introvert. When I’m out and about, I love socializing and really thrive around people with similar values. When I’m at home, I really like to be with myself and doing my own thing. I really like deeply focusing and working on my own projects and learning. I’ve been studying many things such as; nutrition, different diets, and detox, martial arts, spiritual philosophies, our relationship with death, languages, van-life such as solar power and basic mechanics, living off-grid, hunting methods, plant medicine, shamanic practices, and earth magick. 

Compared to a month ago, I don’t know that a lot has changed really. I am sort of living in a bubble, so I keep to myself, and although I miss having a little more freedom, my lifestyle hasn’t changed drastically. I feel mostly ok, taking each day one at a time and focusing on what I want to create as opposed to all of the drama and chaos in the world. 

Here in Melbourne, Victoria, we are now allowed to have up to five guests at home and gatherings of ten people outdoors since the beginning of the week, really. So people are getting a bit excited. There has been a flood of people in parks and walking trails—a lot of cars on the road all of a sudden after a strange sort of stillness. I am really glad that we are coming out of the enforced lockdown, but I am being mindful of the guidelines. I feel like I have a sort of deep trust and surrender that what will be will be, so I don’t worry too much about what other people are doing. I just do what I feel is right for me and go about my business. I think having a chronic illness has made me more discerning about how I spend my time and energy. I have been diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for the past two or three years now. It’s really made me slow down and put things into perspective about what is actually important. This is why I’m really getting deeper into detox studies, health, and nutrition. I am learning to navigate life in a healthy way for me personally.

 I hear about many interesting post-COVID creations — like drive-in movies, concerts, and a strip-club drive-in restaurant in America. I think people will do what is right for them. I 100% support women to be sexually empowered, so that’s cool. I’m not super interested in these kinds of events; personally, I prefer nature, travel, picnics, hiking, and I actually enjoy spending time learning and applying my knowledge to life. I’m looking forward mostly to heading up north in my van that I will hopefully buy soon and start making this community a reality. Luckily, supplies, commodities, and food seem to be in abundance. There doesn’t seem to be any shortages anymore, and the supply has caught up with the sharp spike in demand for toilet paper. 

I think that for me, the important thing has been maintaining an online or virtual connection with my loved ones. Reminding one another of what is important—removing myself from all mainstream dogma. Staying out of social media debates and practicing that non-reactive Zen Buddhism philosophy and getting out in nature, eating well, sleeping well, not judging or criticizing myself if I am being “lazy” or unproductive for a day. Just chipping away at my work via the path of least resistance and also keeping my motivation in towards focus. Focusing on things that bring me joy, things that inspire me, taking steps in building the future reality I want to exist in. 

I have very vivid dreams! I sometimes lucid dream too, although I’m yet to have an out of body experience. Before bed, I generally debrief with my beloved. We process the day, our thoughts and feelings. We hold one another, and sometimes we take turns crying. Other nights we watch a web series or a movie and just zone out. Overall, just giving everything permission to be as it is and surrendering to the deep wisdom of the universe ready to take one more day at a time. 

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